#probably shouldve posted the hair cuz its a little

[aceofstars0]

May or may not have finished my secret santa drawing in one day...

Have a sneaky peak ;)

So tempted to tag the person...

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hellow, i just reblogged that post about the cauldron loving elain and I have been seized with a need to figure out what the hell is going on with that so I shall read one (1) chapter if acomaf to bring me closer to my goal. For the record, I did know about the cauldron loving elain and hating nesta because idk, nesta was angry and annoying when she was dunked into it but elain was just so sweet and demure about it probably, i did not think it was. romantic love. but this is a sjm book so I was foolish to assume there would be a male character whos not insanely horny. Actually, is the cauldron even male? He is in the german version but thats just bc the word cauldron is masculine grammatically. Quick someone draw like, a tumblr sexyman humanized version of the cauldron. actually no, tumblrsexymen are traditionally twinks and sjm hates those. Quick someone draw like, a super buff shirtless man with golden hair, or whatever the color of the cauldron is

anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON: THE FLAMES AND DARKNESS LIVEBLOG we had the Court on Nightmares Under The Mountain Reenactment Scene as I like to call it and can we talk about how Feyre has known Rhys for like a year and only liked him for like half a year and yet she was perfectly fine sitting in his lap nacked and letting herself be sexualized by him. Like, I dont even have any kind of sexual trauma, you would still need to build up sooooo many years of friendship and good will for me to do that for you and you would NOT be allowed to jerk me off!! whatever, lets get on with this, its time for chapter 43

I hate that Rhysand is being all like "i shouldnt have brought you, i didnt want you to see this side of me" when its like, buddy you didnt have to do all this shit you couldve just walked in an been like "Im your high lord and demand your orb" and they wouldve given it to you because youre their high lord and youre demanding their orb. And if he thought they wouldnt have given it to him, he couldve easily come up with a different distraction he just went with the one that sexualizes Feyre because hes weirdo. Like, if hes so cruel on every other day then he shouldve acted really nicely, greeted Keir by giving him the biggest hug and being like "uncleeeee!! :D long time no see :)" and Feyre should have been dressed up as like, the embodiment of spring in pastel green soft shades of pink and but Rhysand still treats with the utmost kindness and respect, now that would throw the Hewn City for a loop

Okay so the reason Rhys broke keirs arm is because the word 'whore' triggered him which is understandable but like, Feyre thought of herself as the Highlords Whore in a very deliberate parallel to Rhysand being known as Amarantha's Whore and Im pretty sure she even straightup thought something about being in the position he had for so many years but she was like, horny about it and the narrative just isnt acknowledging it. Like, theyre not talking about it even though their mindlink was presumably open the whole time bc I remember them flirting through the link, and Feyre isnt even like "oh man, I feel bad for thinking that when its so upsetting to him" its so weird

Rhysand basically said "I will never try to protect you by locking you away, instead I will protect you by killing anyone who upsets you, even when they dont actually upset you and they just upset me" like he and Tamlin are not fundamentally any different from each other, its just that Rhysand is a coldblooded murderer. but its fine cuz he wears black leather i guess

I just realized. Rhysand had a boner when Feyre was sitting in his lap. did that go away when he broke Keirs arm or did he walk out of that meeting with his dick fully hard

Listen, maybe its just because its 3am and Im a little sleepdeprived but this conversation barely makes any sense, these bozos are just completely talking past each other at this point

Rhysand just said something about how Tamlin just locked Feyre up and let her waste away and almost die and Feyre was gonna say "He was trying his best" but Rhys interrupted her like "Dont compare me to him, stop comparing us" when she didnt say anything about that ??? my guy is projecting so hard rn he thinks theyre having a conversation that theyre not even having

And like i would argue that Feyre doesnt even compare Rhysand and Tamlin that much, the narrative definitely does it a LOT, but Ive been reading Feyres thoughts throughout this whole ordeal and I feel like she barely even thought about Tamlin since she sent him that letter

This scene is supposed this big turning point for their relationship and its clearly meant to be really emotional but the only emotion i can feel rn is annoyance with Rhysand because its like, he did have genuinely traumatic things that happened to him but not only is he barely affected by any of them, those are not even the things that the narrative brings up whenever its trying to get me to sympathise with him instead its always just "whaaaaaaa everyone thinks Im nasty and evil just because i keep doing nasty and evil things T-T"

Feyre is being very cruel but in a kinda funny way because its directed at Rhysand rn, i would insert the quote but I am in no state to translate anything at the moment but shes basically like "of course you have to hide your true self from your friends, they wouldnt wanna hang out with otherwise, you burden"

Idk why but the prose being like "my arrow struck him too deep" is so funny to me, it has the same energy as the vampire fics i read where the weird gay one gets his heart broken and he goes "it wouldve hurt less if he staked me in the heart"

Feyre is like "i cant believe he was so vulnerable and shared his sorrows with me and just threw all of it in his face" and I could not give less of a shit, but ive been on a big emotional abuse kick lately so now Im thinking about what if Feyre was just faking having feelings for Rhys in order to make him fall in love with her and be vulnerable with her only to then tell him the truth and reject the mating bond and make him completely break down as revenge for UTM. now that would actually be empowering

Now Feyre is thinking about how shes been using Rhysand for a long time now and come onnnnnn there is such a big power difference between them, I genuinely think its basically impossible for her to do that. Like, hes the most powerful guy in the history of guys or whatever, if anything you were doing bothered him that much he could simply make you stop doing it. hm. now Im thinking about what if rhysand was actually a huge masochist. Now that would actually be hot

Feyre is talking about how all the members of the inner circle suffered and are traumatized and theyve all learned to live with it and, not to extend too much sympathy to Rhysand, but all of the ICs major traumatic events happened centuries ago, his traumatic event happened one (1) year ago and it lasted 49 years i think its gonna take a little more time till hes all better

ughhhhhhh dont remind me of Amrens stupid romance subplot im gonna kill myself

Starfall is called Die Nacht der fallenden Sterne [the night of the calling stars] in german which is so much cooler and more whimsical, shoutout to my gal pal Alexandra Ernst for attempting to reinsert atleast a little bit of whimsy into this joyless world

Also, apparently its expected that Rhysand spend the first starfall in fifty years with his people, his people in this case referring to the Verlarians in the city that no one knows exists and not the people living in his courts actual capital. then again, i guess those bozos are all trapped under a mountain and wouldnt be able to watch it anyway so who cares

Amren said "hes not lucky to have us, we're lucky to have him" like yeah, hes paying you all exorbitant salaries just for being his buddies

God, amrens jacking rhys off so hard rn I cant believe she didnt wanna have sex with him when he asked

btw Im not even gonna dignify all that vaguely meta bullshit about how Tamlin is the golden prince and rhysand is the villain in the stories but the villain in stories is the guy who locks maidens away in towers and rhys freed her with anx kind of commentary because its just stupid, its just sjm bashing you over the head with how subversive she is when Tamlin and Rhysand are basically the same guy with different aesthetics at this point, like Feyre is not making a choice between the goodboy hero and the badboy villain, shes making a choice between a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (green) and a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (black)

[jorstar]

👉👈Can I tell y'all what I did today and overshare?

I got up at 6:25 and hit the snooze button till 10 mins b4 I had to b at work like I always do <3teehee and I used dry shampoo on my hair bc I didn't want to take a shower yesterday

I drove to work and listened to the new svt album and was like damn ok game boi game boi game boi I guess

I put on my apron and noticed that the necklace I literally got yesterday fell off sometime between home and getting to work retraced my steps a lil since then and never found it last place It could b cuz I didn't rlly look there is my yard

Had a 4 hr shift today which I never really get days so short but it was relatively uneventful work day

I bought salmon to cook for dinner and some other stuff like I finally bought some flowers to put in my window planter thats been empty but one of them wouldn't scan so I was like well ok whatever free flowers 4 me I guess >:]

looked for my necklace in parking lot on way out and couldn't find it 🙁

Put stuff away when I got home and finally washed dishes that I've been putting off for like a week

Put some kimchi ramen in the microwave

Wondered if I should do laundry and then noticed I had a little blood stain on my sheets so i washed pillow cases along w other stuff

Ate ramen while watching yt on tv and felt really dizzy and light headed occasionally while eating and it was really fuckin weird

Watched stuff on the whole Steven crowder h3 podcast whatever and by that I mean like watching the reactions from the various leftist youtubers I dabble in

Put out trash for garbage man tomorrow I usually put it out every other week bc I don't accumulate a lot by myself but I threw out some nasty expired milk the other day and don't want it stinking up my bin in the hot sun

Watched the new loona trailer w miss lip and was like

Put clean sheets and stuff back on my bed and folded clothes. just folded! Not put away fuck that

Went and got mail and got some ad and threw it away. shouldve got my city bill by now wtf

Wiped down my bathroom counter (and why that's relevant will be clear in due time friend)

Lil TMI incoming but I put in my diva cup it's my second period using it so I'm still in the learning process

Got nakey, put on spotify and took a shower

Got dressed after, put up my hair, washed my hands and cleaned my ears as too get ready for the ritual to come...

Sooo uuuh I pierced both my ears w those disposable kits like I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW bad idea o mine but here I am sitting writing this in the aftermath what's done is done

So then I started preparing dinner while thinking hmmm earlobe be throbbing a lil but I am just so giddy and excited about it

This is my 2nd time making salmon in the oven and Its actually surprising how easy it is..I love salmon

I eat da salmon w broccoli

I drink da water cuz my Google research says u need ta stay hydrated for healthy piercing process o_o

I think about for the 573475th time this week how much I want a cat or dog

I watch more YouTube then get to this point where I feel like I did a lot today and need to revel in the little things a bit and type it all out lmao I never make posts on here then I go and do this shit idk I think today was one of those days where I felt unfiltered like when youre sleep deprived or something but I really would like to post on Tumblr more definitely not to the extent I've shown here but yeah

Now I'm probably going to get ready for bed and watch shit on my iPad until I decide it's bedtime since my shift starts at 5am tomorrow